Domingo, 11 de Abril de 2004

A ULTRAPASSAGEM DO MESTRE SÁDICO

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Tenho experiência feita de como temos de domar o bárbaro que transportamos em cada um de nós.

Serviu-me de vacina uma experiência na minha Terceira Classe. Lembro-me do professor. Era um ser frio e duro. Não me lembro que tivesse olhos porque eles estavam escondidos atrás de umas lentes muito grossas. Mas sentia-se o seu olhar gelado de severidade a sair por baixo do Crucifixo ladeado pelas caras sombrias de Salazar e Carmona.

Naquele tempo, usava-se palmatória para castigar maus comportamentos ou falhas de aprendizagem. O professor lembrou-se de refinar o seu sadismo. Organizava uma espécie de sabatinas em que um miúdo fazia uma pergunta a outro. Se este não soubesse a resposta certa, o perguntador tinha direito a dar uma reguada na mão do ignorante. Ou seja, ele queria envolver-nos e integrar-nos no mundo de lobos em que a mente do desgraçado vivia.

Um dia, calhou-me fazer a pergunta crucial. Rebusquei a pergunta mais complicada que consegui construir. O desgraçado do colega não fazia a mínima ideia quanto à resposta. O professor proferiu o veredicto: dá-lhe uma reguada. Aquela desproporção de poder, apoderou-se de mim e senti a luxúria do domínio sobre outro, fazendo-lhe mal. Atirei-lhe uma reguada com toda a força que tinha. O meu colega contorceu-se de dor e ficou com a mão inchada durante uma semana. Eu tinha ultrapassado o Mestre. Senti um profundo mal estar e assustei-me com a minha bestialidade. Eu tinha mudado de campo. Mas nunca mais ninguém conseguiu meter-me qualquer espécie de régua nas mãos para bater num outro.

O episódio ficou-me gravado para sempre. Ainda hoje considero que foi útil ter sentido aquela luxúria sádica tão miúdo para me sentir tão mal, tão mal, que me curou (julgo) para sempre.
publicado por João Tunes às 23:11
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